Lightning Fill In The Blank

Sep 2, 2017
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Adam and Rox each have three. Mo has two.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, Mo, you are indeed in third place, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump urged Congress to support his new blank plan.

MO ROCCA: Tax cut plan.

SAGAL: Right.

ROCCA: Tax plan.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a U.S. district judge blocked Texas's ban on blank cities.

ROCCA: Sanctuary.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, it was revealed that a Trump associate attempted to solicit blank's help in building a Trump Tower in Moscow.

ROCCA: Well, a Trump associate wanted Russia's help.

SAGAL: Yes, Vladimir Putin specifically.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: But we'll give it to you. On Wednesday, the Pentagon reported that U.S.-led airstrikes halted an ISIS convoy in blank.

ROCCA: Syria?

SAGAL: Yes, Syria.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A local news host reporting that first responders in Houston were desperately sharing water out of a single tiny cup was corrected when it was pointed out they were blanking.

ROCCA: Peeing?

SAGAL: No they were taking shots to celebrate a rescue.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Drinking out of it - on Wednesday, the FDA approved a revolutionary form of blank treatment.

ROCCA: Cancer?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, "Look What You Made Me Do," the newest single from blank broke records on YouTube and Spotify.

ROCCA: Taylor Swift.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman who lost her wedding ring in a vegetable garden...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Over a decade ago discovered it this week on blank.

ROCCA: In the produce section of Whole Foods?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not quite...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Close...

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Close...

ROCCA: On Amazon then?

SAGAL: No, on a carrot - on a carrot which she pulled from the ground revealing her wedding ring.

ROCCA: Oh, how great.

SAGAL: The 84-year-old woman finally found her lost ring thanks to the vegetable that looks most like an elderly person's terrifying fingers.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: While a heart-warming story, her husband was somewhat dismayed to learn that for 13 years, technically, he had been married to a carrot.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Six right - 12 more points. He has 14 now, and you're leading, Mo.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Mo.

ROCCA: Thank you. Thank you.

KURTIS: Well done, Mo.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We flipped a coin. Adam has elected to go next. So, Adam, here we go. This week, Defense Secretary James Mattis froze Trump's blank military ban, pending further study.

ADAM FELBER: Transgender.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, an independent investigation revealed that employees at blank had opened an additional 1.4 million unauthorized accounts.

FELBER: Happens every day, but Wells-Fargo.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Trump lifted a ban on sending military equipment to blank.

FELBER: Local police.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, a monsoon caused havoc in Nepal, Bangladesh and blank.

FELBER: India.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, China approved a ban on long company names after widespread publicity of a condom company called blank.

FELBER: Put this thing on your thing for ultimate happiness.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, the company is called quote, "There is a Group of People with Dreams, Who Believe They Can Make the Wonders of Life Under the Leadership of Uncle Niu Internet Technology Company Limited."

FELBER: Yeah, that one.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: It was my second guess.

SAGAL: This week, Dara Khosrowshahi was picked as the new CEO of ride-share company blank.

FELBER: Uber.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, the season finale of blank set a ratings record with 16.5 million viewers.

FELBER: "Game Of Thrones."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After stating that he would not wear eclipse glasses because, quote, "our ancestors didn't have fancy eyewear, and they didn't all go blind," rapper Joey Badass was forced to cancel a string of concerts because blank.

FELBER: He could not see.

SAGAL: He went blind. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Just a few hours after the Brooklyn rapper tweeted, quote, "am I crazy for watching the eclipse today with no glasses?" - he cancelled three upcoming shows, citing unforeseen circumstances.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And I guess from now on, unforeseen everything.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got seven right. That's 14 more for him - 17 puts him in the lead.

SAGAL: Well, congratulations.

FELBER: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

FELBER: Thank you.

SAGAL: And how many, then, does Roxanne need to win?

KURTIS: Seven to tie and eight to win.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. All right. Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. According to a poll released Thursday, 60 percent of Americans oppose Trump's pardon of blank.

ROBERTS: Joe Arpaio.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the Pentagon admitted it had been underreporting American troop size in blank.

ROBERTS: In Afghanistan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the U.N. condemned blank's latest missile tests.

ROBERTS: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a federal judge dismissed former Alaska governor blank's lawsuit against The New York Times.

ROBERTS: Sarah Palin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, NHL player Josh Archibald was caught using the Stanley Cup to blank.

ROBERTS: To baptize his son.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, it was revealed that over 3 million people pirated the fight between Conor McGregor and blank.

ROBERTS: Mayweather.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Kendrick Lamar took home the most statues at MTV's blank awards.

ROBERTS: Is it VMAs?

SAGAL: Yeah, VMA - Video Music Awards.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the TSA at Dublin's airport released a list...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Of the strangest thing passengers have forgotten at security, including blank.

ROBERTS: I think one woman forgot a baby.

SAGAL: No. She might've. But in this instance, we were asking about somebody forgetting a headstone reading, you will never be forgotten.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Apparently, this passenger left it at the departure's drop-off point, forgot about it, drove away. Thankfully, the airport was able to reunite the headstone and its minder...

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Who updated it to read, OK, OK, now you'll never be forgotten. Pinky swear.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She did very well with 7 points. She got 14 more. And that is 17 - tied with Adam.

SAGAL: Congratulations to both of you.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And condolences to Mo for being technically the only person who didn't win this week.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Well, I always wanted to be special. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.