Lightning Fill In The Blank

Mar 25, 2017
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Peter and Paula each have two. Roxanne has three.

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Paul has elected to go second. Peter, you're up first.

PETER GROSZ: OK.

SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, ISIS claimed responsibility for a terror attack in blank.

GROSZ: London.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a prominent critic of blank was shot and killed in Ukraine.

GROSZ: Putin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Fox News announced it was pulling commentator and former judge blank from the air over his claims that British intelligence wiretapped Trump Tower.

GROSZ: Napolitano.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Despite having only one letter left unflipped, a contestant on "Wheel Of Fortune" lots when his guess was a street car blank desire.

GROSZ: A streetcar damed (ph) desire.

SAGAL: A streetcar naked desire.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday...

GROSZ: F for that movie.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the U.S. beat Puerto Rico 8 to 0 to win their first world blank classic title.

GROSZ: Baseball.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, legendary New York columnist and Pulitzer Prize winner blank passed away at the age of 88.

GROSZ: Jimmy Breslin.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After conservative bloggers were outraged at the announcement that Chelsea Clinton was receiving a lifetime achievement award, it was revealed that she was actually blank.

GROSZ: Giving a lifetime achievement award.

SAGAL: No, she was actually receiving an achievement award from the Lifetime TV station.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Chelsea Clinton, she's only 37 years old. She is not being honored for her actual lifetime achievements, which is basically being born to two famous people and never rolling her eyes when standing behind them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Instead she was honored by the Lifetime Network for her work against obesity and also for the time she was a mother on the run protecting her child from the man she thought she loved.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Chelsea Clinton stars in Lifetime's "Shadows Of My Past."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Peter do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Five right, 10 more points, total of 12. Peter is in the lead.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Paula, you're up next. Fill in the blank.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: This week, the chair of the House Intelligence Committee said it was possible that blank's communications were intercepted during routine foreign surveillance.

POUNDSTONE: Trump's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, prosecutors began questioning the recently ousted president of blank over corruption allegations.

POUNDSTONE: South Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an attempt to rid his parents' house of ants, a man in Maine blanked.

POUNDSTONE: Burned the house down.

SAGAL: Of course.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Monday, the FBI announced they recovered the blank's missing Super Bowl Jersey.

POUNDSTONE: Tom Brady.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During its opening weekend, Disney's live-action remake of the musical blank smashed several box office records.

POUNDSTONE: "Beauty And The Beast."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In order to avoid being hunted, a deer in Germany was caught on video blanking.

POUNDSTONE: Being stuck - frozen in a pond.

SAGAL: No, pretending to be a cow.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to locals, the deer, who has been nicknamed Sven the Stag, has been spending more and more time with a herd of cows. He grazes with them. He rests with them. And he's even developed a bit of a relationship with a cow named Serena. Many suspect that Sven is doing this to avoid being hunted because you know who lives a really blessed life and is never, ever slaughtered for their meat? Cows.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz? Quite well, I thought.

KURTIS: She got five right, 10 more points, total of 12. She and Peter make a wonderful couple.

POUNDSTONE: Don't we, though? Never...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Even though I know Roxanne has already calculated this in her mind and is ready to do it, how many does she need to win?

KURTIS: Five to win.

SAGAL: Of course she does. Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. On Wednesday, blank's most recent missile exploded just after launch.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: North Korea's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Trump administration banned laptops from some U.S.-bound flights from blank.

ROBERTS: Islamic countries.

SAGAL: Yes, more or less, the Middle East.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, "Sesame Street" introduced Julia, the show's first ever Muppet with blank.

ROBERTS: Autism.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Donald Trump dropped 220 spots down Forbes' list of the world's blankest people.

ROBERTS: Richest.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to new reports, since leaving his job at "Late Night," David Letterman has been repeatedly blanked.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: He has been repeatedly mistaken for Rip Van Winkle.

SAGAL: So close, mistaken for a rabbi.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In a massive upset, the two top seeds in the blank championship were eliminated from the competition this week.

ROBERTS: In March Madness.

SAGAL: Right, NCAA.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known as the creator of "The Dating Game" and "The Gong Show," blank passed away at 87.

ROBERTS: Chuck Barris.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week a library in Ohio is requesting information from anyone who knows why blank keep turning up in their stacks.

ROBERTS: Buckeyes.

POUNDSTONE: No, I know this. I know this.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Say it.

POUNDSTONE: A1 Steak Sauce.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Why empty bottles of A1 Steak Sauce - she's not going to get a point, Roxanne. Don't worry.

ROBERTS: No, I didn't - I just think it's...

POUNDSTONE: I should have given you a hint, but what kind of a hint could you give for that?

SAGAL: I know. Apparently over the past two months, the staff at the Avon Lake Public Library in Ohio have found over 30 bottles of A1 Steak Sauce on their shelves. Librarians report they've mostly been in the adult fiction and nonfiction sections. Security footage offers no clue. Fortunately, all the bottles have been empty, meaning that no damage has been done to any of the library's rare manuscripts or the medium-rare ones.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win, as she so much loves to do?

KURTIS: Roxanne still won, Paula...

SAGAL: There you are.

KURTIS: ...With six.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Roxanne. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.