Lightning Fill In The Blank

Mar 4, 2017
Originally published on March 10, 2017 8:52 am
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: I can. Mo and Faith have two. Roxanne is in the lead with four.

SAGAL: Oh, I know she enjoys that.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Oh, hush.

SAGAL: So this is what we're going to do. We have flipped a coin. Faith has elected to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, former presidential hopeful blank was confirmed as secretary of housing and urban development.

FAITH SALIE: Ben Carson.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Department of Homeland Security said it could only find $20 million to fund Trump's blank.

SALIE: Wall.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the first time in its history, the blank rose above 21,000.

SALIE: Dow.

SAGAL: Dow Jones, yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Ryan Zinke, the newly confirmed secretary of the interior, rode in to work on a blank.

SALIE: Horse.

SAGAL: Yes, he did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A cheap, quick-stop restaurant in France was overrun by people this week after it was accidentally blanked.

SALIE: After it was accidentally tweeted at by our president...

SAGAL: No.

SALIE: ...Saying magnifique.

SAGAL: No, it was accidentally awarded a Michelin star.

SALIE: Oh, yes, that's right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, online video site blank announced a new TV subscription service.

SALIE: Oh, YouTube.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for his roles in "Aliens" and "Titanic," actor blank passed away at the age of 61.

SALIE: Paxton, Bill Paxton.

SAGAL: Yes, Bill Paxton.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an attempt to avoid a traffic violation, a man in China blanked while he was stopped at a red light.

SALIE: He did a Chinese fire drill.

SAGAL: No, he used a slingshot to take out the traffic camera.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to footage taken from the camera in question, the man was stuck behind a red light in his minivan for a little over a minute before he leaned out his window, slingshot in hand, and shattered the camera.

It's just like the story of David and Goliath if instead of saving the Israelites and the Philistines and becoming king of Judah, David saved $50 in a red light ticket and was arrested for destruction of public property.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Good. Six right, 12 more points, a healthy lead at 14.

SAGAL: All right then, Mo.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You have to match her to have a chance. Here we go, fill in the blank. In a budget released this week, President Trump called for a 10 percent increase in blank spending.

MO ROCCA: The defense.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Tom Perez started his new position as head of the blank.

ROCCA: DNC.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the White House announced that it would not discipline blank for plugging Ivanka Trump's clothing line on TV.

ROCCA: Kellyanne Conway.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new report, by 2020, the legalized blank industry will create more jobs than manufacturing.

ROCCA: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Passengers stuck in a massive traffic jam on a Seattle highway were relieved to see a blank stuck as well.

ROCCA: Somebody they didn't like.

SAGAL: No, they were delighted to see a taco truck which also was stuck there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And it opened its doors and started selling tacos. This week, ephemeral photo-sharing service blank's IPO raised a better than expected $3.4 billion.

ROCCA: That's not Instagram. That's not the Snapchat thing. It's another thing...

SAGAL: It's Snapchat or Snap, as they're now called.

ROCCA: Yes, Snap, Snap, Snap, Snap, Snap.

SAGAL: On Thursday...

ROCCA: Ding.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After opening a care package from his mom, a freshman at Westminster College in Pennsylvania discovered that she had sent him blank.

ROCCA: It's going to be something embarrassing. She sent him pornography.

SAGAL: No, a box full of trash that he had forgotten to take out when he was home.

(APPLAUSE)

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: Connor Cox says he found the whole thing funny until his next care package, when his mom sent him the entire downstairs bathroom that he promised to clean.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got five right, 10 more points, total of 12, but still two behind Faith.

SAGAL: All right, well, how many does Roxanne need to win?

KURTIS: Five to tie, six to win.

SAGAL: All right, here we go, Roxanne for the game...

ROCCA: God, who's keeping score, Pricewaterhouse?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, 10 U.S. officials reported that no actionable intelligence was gained from the failed raid in blank.

ROBERTS: In Yemen.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Iraqi forces said they were closer to retaking the city of Mosul from blank.

ROBERTS: ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Philip Bilden, Trump's pick for blank secretary, withdrew his name from consideration.

ROBERTS: Is this the Navy secretary?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the first time in almost 150 years, Chicago had no accumulated blank for all of January and February.

ROBERTS: Snow.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, police in Japan arrested a man who was caught blanking to get out of work.

ROBERTS: He was caught eating bread with coffee on it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, he was caught stabbing himself. On Monday...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Lawmakers in...

ROBERTS: Oh, that's not funny.

SAGAL: On Monday, lawmakers in Minnesota finally voted to overturn a ban on selling blank on Sunday.

ROBERTS: Alcohol.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, talk show host and lifestyle guru blank suggested she might consider running for president in 2020.

ROBERTS: Oprah 2020. Yep.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: But Gayle said no.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: At the cross-country skiing world championships in Finland this week, the Venezuelan entrant ran into trouble when he encountered blank for the first time.

ROBERTS: Snow.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Oh, my God, what's this, he said.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Venezuela's Adrian Solano qualified for the world championships by being the only person in Venezuela to sign up for them. Once he got to Finland, however, he was confronted by something he'd never seen before, snow. Though he had a lot of trouble getting through the course, he made it eventually, saying, quote, "I fell and did not give up. Not everyone gets up, but I got up more than 30 times."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's like the old adage goes, if at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try and try, try, try, try, try again.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: Did she ever. She got seven right, 14 more points for a total of 18 and the win.

SAGAL: Yes, Roxanne.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.