Lightning Fill In The Blank

Feb 4, 2017
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can with each correct answer now worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Rox and Faith each have 3. Luke has 2.

SAGAL: Luke you are in third place, so you're up first. Fill in the blank.

On a vote of 56-43, Rex Tillerson was confirmed as blank on Wednesday.

LUKE BURBANK: Secretary of State.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the British Parliament approved the first steps of the blank.

BURBANK: Brexit.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, President Trump announced that Neil Gorsuch was his nominee for the blank.

BURBANK: Supreme Court.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Oklahoma man is being charged with DUI after nearly running over people who were blanking.

BURBANK: Playing nude volleyball.

SAGAL: Filming a DUI awareness ad.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After two weeks, zookeepers in Virginia say they're still searching for an escaped blank.

BURBANK: Red panda.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, it was announced that Chance the Rapper, John Legend and Daft Punk would perform at the blank awards.

BURBANK: Grammy Awards.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Nebraska state senator's calling for a change to the design of the state flag...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After blank.

BURBANK: After they figured out that it was a terrible flag.

SAGAL: Well, no. They decided they should probably change it after it was flown upside down over the state capitol for 10 days and no one noticed.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: That is a terrible flag.

SAGAL: That's a bad flag. For those who don't know, Nebraska's flag features the state seal over a blue background - it's pretty bland. The state senator is now calling for it to be redesigned. The senator hopes Nebraska can just revert to its original flag, back when it was a territory, a white field with just the letters, this side up.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Pretty good - Five right, 10 more points, total of 12 and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: OK, we flipped a coin. Roxanne has elected to go last. That means Faith, you are up next. Fill in the blank.

This week, Antonio Guterres, the new secretary general of the blank, condemned President Trump's immigration ban.

FAITH SALIE: The U.N.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following a two-day meeting, the Federal Reserve left blanks unchanged.

SALIE: Their interest rate.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the blanks announced they would allow transgender boys to join their organization.

SALIE: Boy Scouts.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After receiving a 911 call from a man complaining that he was just too high, police in Ohio entered his apartment and found blank.

SALIE: That he was hanging off the ceiling.

SAGAL: No, a man lying on the floor surrounded by Doritos.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Punxsutawney Phil blanked, predicting six more weeks of winter.

SALIE: Saw his shadow.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, French officials announced a ban on free blank.

SALIE: On free speech?

SAGAL: Free soda refills - even worse, really.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Just in time for Valentine's Day, a British company is releasing...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A dating app that matches people based on their blanks.

SALIE: Oh, what they hate.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Everybody wants a partner with a sense of humor or a taste of adventure, but it's rare when you can find your soulmate who also hates tacos or "Downton Abbey." The Hater app says it will help you, quote, "meet someone who hates the same stuff as you." Users are encouraged to list everything that makes them mad, from politics to recumbent bike riders to the TED Radio Hour.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The app then sorts you into different hate groups until you're finally matched with someone as cruel and bitter as you. And you can look forward to a life spent seething together.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Five right, 10 more points. She has a total of 13, So she moves into the league.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Faith. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Not for long.

SAGAL: So now we're getting down to it. How many does Roxanne need to win?

KURTIS: Five to tie and six to win.

SAGAL: Daunting, Roxanne. But more unlikely things have happened of late.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here we go. This is for the game. Fill in the blank.

On Monday, presidential adviser blank was given a permanent seat on the National Security Council.

ROBERTS: Stephen Bannon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Israeli officials began clearing Jewish residents out of unauthorized settlements in blank.

ROBERTS: On the West Bank.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, President Trump signed an executive order demanding that for every new blank imposed on business, two existing ones be removed.

ROBERTS: Regulations.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an Instagram post on Wednesday, blank revealed she is pregnant with twins.

ROBERTS: Beyonce.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British man was still required to pay a $200 ticket despite his claim that the only reason he was speeding was blank.

ROBERTS: Because everyone else was driving too slow.

SAGAL: Because the wind was pushing him.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, Roger Federer beat blank to claim his 18th Grand Slam title.

ROBERTS: Rafael Nadal.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for his roles in "The Elephant Man" and "Alien" and "The Naked Civil Servant," actor blank passed away at the age of 77.

ROBERTS: And "I, Claudius" - John Hurt.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Girl Scout in New Jersey who was having trouble selling cookies...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Sold thousands after she wrote a letter saying blank.

ROBERTS: Saying that she hadn't sold any and she was going to be grounded for a year.

SAGAL: No, she wrote a letter saying that the Toffee-tastic cookies taste like a, quote, "bleak, flavorless, gluten-free wasteland."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No one was buying Charlotte McCourt's Girl Scout Cookies, so her parents suggested she write a letter reviewing each flavor. And because the Girl Scouts had taught her that honesty is a virtue, she told the truth. She praised Thin Mints and Savannah Smiles as delicious but said the Toffee-tastics were as flavorless as dirt and gave the Do-si-dos a 5 out of 10 for unoriginality and blandness.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She ended up selling over 15,000 boxes of cookies and earned her cattiness badge.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, she got six right. Twelve more, and that's a 15 and a win.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Roxanne.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.